LOW MALE LIBIDO? KEYS TO ENJOYING VALENTINE'S DAY TO THE FULLEST

We all know that Valentine's Day is a date when many couples take the opportunity to show how much they love each other and how important they are to each other. But for a surprisingly large number of people, it’s also an opportunity to “reconnect”. Reconnect? I’m talking about those couples who for multiple reasons have lost the flame and passion and put all their expectations on this special day.

And let's be honest, the man is the one who usually has the reputation of being always available for an assault in bed , but what happens when it’s him who’s struggling with low desire? We're referring to low libido in men, which can become an obstacle to fully enjoying this special occasion (and in general). That's why, based on my experience, I want to address this issue with practical tips to make Valentine's Day the turning point for the better in your sex life as a couple.

UNDERSTANDING LOW MALE LIBIDO: COMMON CAUSES AND MYTHS

As I said before, low male libido is a concept that is little discussed since it is usually the man who is more predisposed to intimate encounters, especially with heterosexual relationships. But the truth is, it is still a complicated topic that still carries a lot of stigma. But what causes this drop in the desire to have sex with your partner? We cannot ignore factors such as stress , hormonal imbalances , health problems , and even excessive consumption of pornography , which negatively influences sexual desire (Basson, 2001). However, this is just an added burden to the myth that men must always be ready. Let one thing be clear, we all go through stages with different moods.

Also, certain social myths, such as that a good man maintains an erection throughout the encounter, add additional stress. For example, a lot of men believe that a low libido is equivalent to a lack of attraction to their partner, which is not always true. I assure you that mutual understanding between the couple is the key to be able to face this situation without judging or feeling judged.

PRACTICAL TIPS TO OVERCOME LOW LIBIDO IN MEN

The solution to recover or increase male sexual desire is not always immediate, but there are some quite effective strategies that are often used as a first option:

1. Prioritize your physical and emotional health

Something that is essential and not many men pay attention to is the body-mind binomial . In most cases, we only focus on the physical (and not even in a global way). One thing we already know, but it never hurts to remember, is that (frequent) exercise not only improves blood flow, which is crucial to prevent problems such as erectile dysfunction , but also regulates hormone levels, and reduces stress, which is one of the main inhibitors of sexual desire (Hämäläinen et al., 1999). Likewise, meditation or mindfulness  are very helpful in managing anxiety related to performance in bed.

Furthermore, consider seeking the advice of a health care professional for a complete medical check-up. You may not see it as strictly necessary, but there are certain conditions that affect our desire and our ability to be 100% active in bed more than you think. For example, conditions such as hypogonadism, which involves low testosterone levels, often contribute to erectile dysfunction, while hypothyroidism affects overall hormone balance.

2. Improve communication with your partner

The foundation of any good relationship is an open, clear and honest communication. Talking openly about concerns related to sexual desire often helps more than we think to alleviate tensions and misunderstandings. This is crucial to keep in mind, as most men choose to deal with these types of difficulties alone, without the support of their partner. In addition, one way to improve the bond is to work together to find solutions, which in turn often reactivates passion . As you will notice, there is no shortage of reasons for you to invest in communicating.

PLAN A ROMANTIC EVENING FREE OF STRESS

Valentine's doesn't have to be a day to add pressure in the sexual department. Instead, try to focus on creating a close, comfortable and relaxed atmosphere that builds a connection between the two of you. I'd tell you what you can do, but I'm sure you know your partner better than I do and will know how to surprise her/him in a more personalized way .

1. Schedule shared activities

Taking a break from routine should be almost mandatory in every relationship. Especially when it comes to long-lasting couples in which monotony  has set in. Breaking with habit and day-to-day life is a very useful way to rekindle mutual interest. How? A dinner at home prepared by both of you, an evening stroll or even a mutual massage session are some ideas. These are romantic ways to enjoy the day without putting the focus exclusively on sex. Relax, I'm not saying no intimacy, but these types of interactions strengthen intimacy without pressure.

2. Create a sensual atmosphere

There are a number of details that make a big difference: soft lighting, scented candles, soft music... It seems silly, but if you play it to your favor, I assure you that they transform any space into a corner of passion. You can approach it in two ways: you organize everything yourself and give him or her the surprise, or you can also organize this type of planning as a couple. The result will help you set the tone for the evening, letting things flow naturally and without fixed expectations.

TAKE CARE OF THE LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP

If you want to combat low sexual desire, know that it's not enough to patch things up today. It is important that you take a proactive approach to your relationship. I'll explain what I'm telling you about.

1. Get creative in your intimacy

As I mentioned before, getting out of the routine is essential to keep the spark in the relationship, but not just for Valentine's Day! If you want to keep this new initiative going, consider getting some role playing, new sexual positions or even the use of toys to help diversify experiences and keep the passion alive. The key is to explore together and respect each other's boundaries.

2. Seek professional help if needed

This is the hardest thing for most men to do. And I get it. We're not usually good at asking for help. But sometimes it's necessary. When low libido persists and affects the relationship, seeking support from a sex therapist may be the best solution. Professionals in this area are trained to offer personalized tools to address the problem from a holistic perspective, addressing both psychological and physical aspects.

CONCLUSION

Low male libido is more common than you might think and, far from being an insurmountable obstacle, it is an opportunity to address issues that were being ignored or on the back burner and thus strengthen the relationship. With open communication, appropriate strategies and a focus on connection, Valentine's Day can become the date that marks a before and after in your relationship, combining love and passion. Remember that sexual desire is not linear and working on it is part of the shared journey.

REFERENCES

1. Basson, R. (2001). The Female Sexual Response: A Different Model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 27(1), 53-65. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926230152035831

2. Hämäläinen, E., Adlercreutz, H., Puska, P., & Pietinen, P. (1984). Diet and serum sex hormones in healthy men. Journal of steroid biochemistry, 20(1), 459–464.  https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-4731(84)90254-1  

3. Perelman, M. A. (2009). A New Combination Treatment for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder in Men. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6(1), 285-288. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.01038.x